On Tuesday night a very open and brave Scott Mescudi also known as Kid Cudi checked himself into a rehab facility after citing feeling “no longer at peace” in an intimate letter to his fans via Facebook.
In a world where mental health stigma is so prevalent, this is not the first time Cudi has been vocal about the issues surrounding mental health. The Brooklyn based rapper in 2013 spoke of his depression and drug use. In his message Cudi tells us that he has not been at peace since we have known him “Yesterday I checked myself into rehab for depression and suicidal urges. I am not at peace. I haven’t been since you’ve known me. If I didn’t come here, I would’ve done something to myself.”
He starts off his letter by saying that he is ashamed; “It’s been difficult for me to find the words to what I’m about to share with you because I feel ashamed. Ashamed to be a leader and hero to so many while admitting I’ve been living a lie.” The ‘Day ‘N’ Nite’ rapper courageously shared his most vulnerable side to his supporters, which is commendable as there are a plethora of individuals who feel and think similar thoughts. By him doing this openly shares a strong message of strength and perseverance; the need to be better mentally Cudi says he hopes to be back on stage for the ComplexCon festival in November if all goes well with rehab.
It’s important that we show support for Cudi at this difficult time. Taking the necessary steps to feel at peace with yourself could not have been easy for him. In his letter he stated that he did not know what peace felt like. “My anxiety and depression have ruled my life for as long as I can remember and I never leave the house because of it. I can’t make new friends because of it. I don’t trust anyone because of it and I’m tired of being held back in my life. I deserve to have peace.”
Mental health goes hand in hand with physical health and it appeared that the Grammy Award-winning artist had neglected his mental state especially in a genre where mental health stigma is still problematic Cudi cites “I deserve to have peace. I deserve to be happy and smiling. Why not me? I guess I give so much of myself to others I forgot that I need to show myself some love too.”
Cudi also talks about completing all business related to his sixth studio album Passion, Pain & Demon Slayin’ which is due for release this month features guest appearances from Andre 3000, Pharrell Williams and Willow Smith.
Sending love and light to Kid Cudi and hopes he recovers well.
Read Full Letter Below:
Its been difficult for me to find the words to what Im about to share with you because I feel ashamed. Ashamed to be a leader and hero to so many while admitting I’ve been living a lie. It took me a while to get to this place of commitment, but it is something I have to do for myself, my family, my best friend/daughter and all of you, my fans.
Yesterday I checked myself into rehab for depression and suicidal urges.
I am not at peace. I haven’t been since you’ve known me. If I didn’t come here, I wouldve done something to myself. I simply am a damaged human swimming in a pool of emotions everyday of my life. Theres a ragin violent storm inside of my heart at all times. Idk what peace feels like. Idk how to relax. My anxiety and depression have ruled my life for as long as I can remember and I never leave the house because of it. I cant make new friends because of it. I dont trust anyone because of it and Im tired of being held back in my life. I deserve to have peace. I deserve to be happy and smiling. Why not me? I guess I give so much of myself to others I forgot that I need to show myself some love too. I think I never really knew how. Im scared, im sad, I feel like I let a lot of people down and again, Im sorry. Its time I fix me. Im nervous but ima get through this.
I wont be around to promote much, but the good folks at Republic and my manager Dennis will inform you about upcoming releases. The music videos, album release date etc. The album is still on the way. Promise. I wanted to square away all the business before I got here so I could focus on my recovery.
If all goes well ill be out in time for Complexcon and ill be lookin forward to seeing you all there for high fives and hugs.
Love and light to everyone who has love for me and I am sorry if I let anyone down. I really am sorry. Ill be back, stronger, better. Reborn. I feel like shit, I feel so ashamed. Im sorry.
I love you,